Allen Iverson

Here’s a funny twist to the Allen Iverson saga as seen by satirical magazine The Onion. They state that Memphis has five better guys to put on the floor at the same time. Isn’t this the team where Allen was supposed to revive his career? Here’s what they say:

“We’re really confident about the decision to put Mike Conley, Zach Randolph, Rudy Gay, O.J. Mayo, and Marc Gasol on floor instead of Iverson,” general manager Chris Wallace said of his starters, who combined have appeared in 10 fewer NBA All-Star games than the former No. 1 draft pick.

Maybe it is really time for Iverson to retire if he’s become a topic in The Onion.

Christian Lander, 30, who jeered the pretensions of the creative class on his Web site, Stuff White People Like, lives a few miles to the west of Eagle Rock and says things will be fine — better even. “The economic downturn is good for fringe neighborhoods,” Mr. Lander said. “It returns the neighborhood to the people who consider themselves to be real residents.”

What does it have to do with basketball? There is, supposedly, one thing in basketball that white people love doing more than anything else – pass, or better to say, defer to others to score. Here’s the entry, you may like it or not, but I think it’s funny:

When you say the word “assist,” first thing you think about is Steve Nash [and Wayne Gretzky]. White people love to pass, it’s no secret.

In basketball, it’s kind of a must so that white guys can carve out a niche and guarantee acceptance on a team. Trying to be a white guy who dunks and stuff is like trying to be a white rapper – yeah, there are a few, but you have to work twice as hard for half the results.

One explanation is that white people still feel guilty over slavery, colonialism, and the crusades so passing is a way to make up for it. But more importantly, it makes them feel good to help others.